![]() ![]() You are no longer responsible for only your own actions, but also theirs. How Two: Have a Successful RelationshipĪnother problem that can occur with this type of identity confusion is you can start to think that your partner represents you in the world. She has lost the sense of their separate identities. ![]() Cathy feels as though her story is coming out wrong because she hears what Bob is saying as though it is her voice. ![]() This is not the same as Cathy wanting to tell the story from her viewpoint instead, she wants to cut in and correct his mistakes. She gets very upset because he is not describing it as she would. He is telling a story about an event that he and Cathy experienced together. After all, they really are you!īob and Cathy are out with friends. You see them as an extension of yourself and you want them to say what you think and do what you do. When you begin to see your partner as yourself, it may and often does lead to criticisms and attempts at corrective adjustments. In union with your lover, it’s easy to forget that both of you have separate identities #quote Click To TweetWhile feeling the fusion of your two selves, it can be easy to forget the other critical component, that the two selves have separate individualities as well. And unfortunately it can also lead to confusions and bumps in the smooth path of your partnership. This can expand your world view in many ways. You are sharing the magic of two who become one. It is a beautiful, transcendent and intimate experience. The fact that there are two separate personalities within one relationship seems obvious, but putting this understanding into practice is often more complex than it would seem.Īs you grow closer in your union, the sense of joining together pervades the relationship. In our interviews with couples, we have found that there is a really tricky area that partners must learn to navigate together. In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality…. ![]()
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